o, those beautiful cuts, those gorgeous streams of blood flowing down my leg, that demented, vacant stare as i gaze at the ceiling while aaron bandages my wounds. calm down, baby, it's ok, everything's going to be alright, i'll take care of you, you're ok, you're ok.
geo: i don't think he's lying. i think he does love you. yes and no, you are being stupid, but it's going to take a little while to figure out what's best.
sanam: do you have a choice in the matter? do you have a choice between kicking him out of your life or can you not be without him? if you don't have a choice, then do what you think you need to do, but if you can bear to get rid of him, then you know what you need to do.
matt: talks about himself the whole time. i'm using all my strength to convince everyone who can't help that i'm ok.
aaron: calls at 10:30pm and i apologize for flipping out. we'll get through this, baby. you helped me and now i can help you. i've never made a decision like this. i've never thought to quit drinking until you. quitting heroin was easy because i had drinking. quitting drinking is hard because i don't have anything to take the place of it except for you. calls at 4am. i'm off work, baby, i'm halfway through franny and zooey. calls at 7:30am, wake up, baby, i'm not getting off the phone until you get out of bed. are you standing up? ok, i'll see you at 5.
michelle: fucks abu.
joanna and i: sing "she's a heartbreaker, lovetaker" at 8am this morning and discuss poor abu and his soon-to-be-broken heart.
giggles, giggles, work. like in sleepless in seattle (hmmmm), when he lists off all the business cards with therapists and support groups and ends with, "or WORK! WORK will save me, WORK will distract me, WORK won't let me think about how much i miss her. no, we need a change."
my friends are amazing, but i have to help myself.