epiphany time!
the reason aaron and i work: he's good at what he loves and sucks at what he hates, whereas i am good at what i hate and bad at what i love. the reason i am bad at what i love is because i'm afraid to work at things i love (writing, etc) because all good things must end and maybe i'll find out i'm not good at the things i love to do, while if i fail doing the things i hate (working) i won't lose anything.
or something. it made more sense in my head.