the countdown begins
15 October 2002 at 7:25 pm

this is the biggest urge i've had to cut in 2 months

and why shouldn't i, anyway? because it's healthier to keep things bottled up with no release at all? try painting, try writing, try exercising, you'll feel better! maybe i will, but it's always there, and i like this release. it's not the action, it's the reason for it. i'm sick of just going through the motions. i hate it here.

i hate it everywhere.

it's not fair i have to live for someone else. let me put myself out of my misery.

she's not my friend anymore. i distinctly dislike her as a person, and i can't say she's too fond of me either right now.

11 months to san francisco.

i'm going to go smoke a cigarette and drink chai and hope that will calm me down, but if it doesn't, then fuck it. my scars have faded too much and i'm beginning to forget who i really am.

theglitterfades0 (7:30:31 PM): i think im' having another breakdown

SuperSanam (7:30:41 PM): since the one ten minutes ago?

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About me
Hi. Morgan, 27, of Santa Barbara, CA. I am a hypocritical admirer of rhetoric (when it is my own) and an observer of literary trends. A secret: I don't take anything very seriously, and that includes myself.