this is the biggest urge i've had to cut in 2 months
and why shouldn't i, anyway? because it's healthier to keep things bottled up with no release at all? try painting, try writing, try exercising, you'll feel better! maybe i will, but it's always there, and i like this release. it's not the action, it's the reason for it. i'm sick of just going through the motions. i hate it here.
i hate it everywhere.
it's not fair i have to live for someone else. let me put myself out of my misery.
she's not my friend anymore. i distinctly dislike her as a person, and i can't say she's too fond of me either right now.
11 months to san francisco.
i'm going to go smoke a cigarette and drink chai and hope that will calm me down, but if it doesn't, then fuck it. my scars have faded too much and i'm beginning to forget who i really am.
theglitterfades0 (7:30:31 PM): i think im' having another breakdown
SuperSanam (7:30:41 PM): since the one ten minutes ago?