back from sf. was left a message by joanna, something along the lines of "you'd better be careful what you write in your diary, since no one's going to like you if you say every bad thing about them." when people ask me why i keep this fucking diary, which has gotten me into more trouble than it seems worth, i say, "why wouldn't i want people to know exactly what's going through my head?" and really, why wouldn't i? because i'm mean? because i'm stupid? because no one really cares?
i just swallowed a lot of rice without really chewing it and now i can't breathe. oh wait, now i can. i like how i typed through that little suffocation moment. i suck.
had taken a gravity bong hit before leaving for sf so was completely and utterly fucked up on the ride up there. i probably shouldn't have been driving (uh, sorry sarah) but we made it in one piece around 1a and then called nathan, who came over and we hung out for a bit. days later, carlo called and i told the bastard to just meet me at my hotel instead of at fucking pier 12 but he got lost so nathan and i had to go pick derek and him up. all the boys ended up spending the night, and i was sketching about the hotel charging us extra and my mom wondering why i had three people staying in the room with sarah and i. no problems, though.
saturday was spent on haight street with sarah and nathan. much shopping was done, some fun was had, but i became increasingly depressed throughout the day realizing what an incredibly fabulous person nathan is. because, as previously mentioned, i suck i decided to be the lamest person ever so nathan would stop being nice to me so i could be all like, psh, whatev, i didn't like you anyway, i was just looking for fun. quite right. i don't want to talk about him anymore. thus, abrupt change of subject:
christ. my mom just called crying about high school shit.
saturday night, i went to the ballet with my mum. it was alright...made me nostalgic for the hobbies of yesteryear. then sarah and erin the terrific (??) and i decided to check out a jazz club in north beach but i only made it through a milkshake at lori's diner until the 3 hours sleep from the night before caught up with me. i don't know why my friends tell me sleeping with a boy (literally) results in the best sleep ever. perhaps the bed was just too small.
i miss nathan. but i'm not thinking about that.
so i went back to the hotel and fell asleep on the floor and woke up sick as all hell. i should have seen it coming, as my crazy lymph nodes have been swollen.
....gah....need....cigarette....where is anne....
found christine instead. crazy girl. am going to miss her.
the drive back was nice today. i was falling asleep at the wheel at 2pm so we stopped off somewhere random and parked in a strip mall and i fell asleep for a half hour on a bit of grass in front of a yogurt shoppe. it didn't occur to me how odd this was until sarah told me it was funny to watch people walk by giving me weird looks. i woke up to the sound of kids playing around me. they should make alarms with that sound. actually, that might create creepy dreams for some, so maybe that's not a good idea. what?
the rest of the drive was ok until my car thought to itself, "d'ya know, i've been driving for 5 hours at 90mph and i'm sick of it" and ran out of gas 10 minutes outside of goleta. so we pulled off onto an offramp, called anne, and danced on the side of the road until she showed up with gas. we twisted again like we did last summer. we mashed potatoed. we swam. we tootsie-rolled. we sprinklered. we even cockroached, per modest mouse's suggestion. in short, we had fun.
made it back to the dorms. now need to unpack, or perhaps just throw everything into the closet and barricade the door so it doesn't explode. either way, tonight will consist of smoking bowls, cigs, and anything else i can get my hands on. i have 2 more weeks in this place, and i plan to party like there's no tomorrow. which i suppose, in a sense, there isn't. again: what?