to rip off just about everyone:
Top 10 Beverages of all time (in no particular order)
* starbucks chai
* mountain dew
* virgil's rootbeer
* red bull
* vodka tonic
* capri sun fruit punch
* almond steamer
* those little glass apples of apple juice
* nestle quik chocolate milk
* tropicana pulp-free orange juice
And...the boyfriend test!
(1) Are you comfortable with and sometimes prefer silence?
(2) Do you make daily schedules and never, ever follow them?
(3) What are our children's names going to be?
(4) Do you always hold the door open for girls?
(5) Are Marilyn Monroe, Bettie Page, Audrey Hepburn, Natalie Wood, and Charlize Theron perfection?
(6) Are you anti-social in a healthy manner?
(7) Do you like to laugh at everything, but in a good way?
(8) Are you a classic movie buff?
(9) Are you willing and able to switch from topics like abortion and starvation to what a great movie Empire Records is in a matter of seconds?
(10) Are you a hypocrite?
(11) Did you watch Strangers with Candy?
(12) Is Jon Stewart the funniest person alive, followed by Dana Carvey, Janeane Garofalo, Mike Myers, and a few others I can't think of right now?
(13) Did you find yourself staying up on Sundays around 1am just to watch reruns of The Critic last summer?
(14) Can you handle listening to the same CD for 3 days straight, whether it be That Dog, Billie Holiday, The Getup Kids, or Kid Koala?
(15) Are Pauly Shore movies hilarious?
(16) Will you take me seriously?
(17) Did you actually take this test?
Answers!
(1) Yes
(2) Yes! I thought I was the only one!
(3) Trent James, Eleanor Jane...wait, kids? I'm never having kids. I'm never getting married! Down with responsibility and selflessness!
(4) It depends on who gets there first
(5) Yes, and I'm glad my girlfriend is comfortable enough with herself to recognize beauty even when it's not her own.
(6) Indeed
(7) Yes. Dark humor is essential.
(8) My top 3 movies of all time are Breakfast at Tiffany's, Rebel Without a Cause, and Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. So, yeah.
(9) Variety is the spice of life!
(10) Yes, but doesn't admitting hypocrisy excuse me from it?
(11) Yes
(12) Yes, and you forgot Jon Lovitz and Margaret Cho.
(13) Yes
(14) I have headphones
(15) I'm proudly ashamed to admit: Yes
(16) No
(17) Well...uh, yeah.
If you answered, oh, say, 5 of these right you should email me right now.