where is everyone?
on the cycle of depression, i'm past the numb stage and onto the severe sadness. which means onwards and upwards: happiness is right around the corner. and then back down. and then numb. by then, the meds should kick in so i'll just be aloof. 'stable.'
i'm not letting myself start drinking until 8. then i'll have a good 2 hours of lonely drunkenness and i can crash around 10. until then, i'm dying my hair. the roots, my god, the roots! i like my new haircut, btw.
but seriously, where is everyone?
and my brother called while i was on the phone with joanna to tell me he talked to some people who had been on meds and it takes about a month. i knew that and i had told him that but it's nice to know he's thinking about me. it hurts how much i love my brother because i know we'll never be friends and i guess that's part of the cutting. attention. worry about me. pay attention to me. is it weird that i don't want attention from my parents, just from him?
slowly but surely, i'm figuring things out.
why do annoying girls always commune right outside my room? "karen, kendall, kendall, karen. ohmigodwe'regoingtohavesomuchfunteeheebwahhahah. let's go!" chipper.
after the nice conversation with joanna, i talked to esp, who is not a slut for making out with 2 boys "already" this year. if that's slutty, then what am i?
(a loser. that's what you are, morgan.)
shut up.
it's nice talking to people who Get It. conversations with joanna are always appropriate. i'm lucky to have met someone with whom i have such a mutual friendship. that makes sense, trust me.