get us away from tonight - saves the day
06 December 2001 at 10:57 pm

mmm, enjoyable evening. slept for a while. woke up, walked to beach with sarah -- tonight could not have been more perfect, weather-wise. the sky was totally clear, there was a touch of briskness in the air but it was warm enough to just wear a long-sleeved shirt, and the tide was really low. I don't know why, but life seems so much calmer at low tide. during high tide, the world goes crazy. or maybe i'm just silly.

so hung out with suzzi and roman and yojaira for a while before we decided getting faded on the beach was to be the agenda of the evening. we walked really slowly back and then spotted a newly installed bench so we decided we should break it in. pardon the stoner terminology, but we seriously sat there for days. we saw many people come and go, including a new potential crush. he's alfonso's roommate and yojaira and suzzi insist that he's really weird, but hi, so am i. he's totally appealing to me...he has that whole little boy look. he's too tall, but hey, we all have our shortcomings. (oh dear god, pun totally unintended.) the thing of it is, i believe this is the boy from that night when chris was just messing with poor lil pathetic me. but i'm really not sure. anyway.

crazy event of the evening: fucking doug robinson called. Doug. "Doog." Way way old school. I had my cell number on my away message and...jesus. doug called. we didn't talk for that long...i dont' even know why he called. he said i sounded like i'd grown up a lot, that i sounded a lot more mature. i said, it happens. i couldn't think of anything to say to him, but i realized i actually have a lot to say to him. doug is the type boy i'll end up falling in love with and then hating myself for it because he is Such. a. bastard. i mean, our relationship was based on him cheating on his girlfriend with me. except we never did anything. i still don't know if the situation was incredibly complicated or incredibly stupid.

hm.

so that was actually before we got stoned, which is a good thing because that would have been a terrible conversation had i not been able to think straight. after roman unlocked his bike, i assumed he was going straight back to his apt, so i said, "ok, bye" and he was like, "oh. uh, bye." i said it all fast because i hate drawnout goodbyes. i hate goodbyes in general. ugh. anyway. so then yojaira looks at me after he rides away and is like, "dude! what if he wanted to, like, be high with you?" it never even occured to me that that might have been rude. oh well. then she said, "it's alright, it's not like he's your friend." and that made me feel worse. bleh.

now i'm on my bed and i have this little setup with my laptop leaning against the window and me leaning against the wall with my bigass pillow and my blanket all cozied around me and it's really comfy and mmmm i never want to get down. i'm in the middle of reading nick hornby's "about a boy" and it's completely addicting.

i keep having flashbacks of this dream i had a few days ago. i guess i'm at this airport picking up my longlost boyfriend whom i haven't seen for weeks and i'm with a bunch of people or something and we see him and i hug him and we're walking out of the airport except it's, like, disneyland or something and i pull him against this wall and start kissing him because i missed him so much and sigh.

i miss having someone to kiss.

just so you know, it's 11:47p now. i thought i'd already posted this.

this is hilarious. this is fun. this is it (like he needs a plug).

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About me
Hi. Morgan, 27, of Santa Barbara, CA. I am a hypocritical admirer of rhetoric (when it is my own) and an observer of literary trends. A secret: I don't take anything very seriously, and that includes myself.