cause i got high
31 October 2001 at 7:35 pm

yawn. just took the best 4-hour weed nap. mmmmmmmmm. a song: esp is the greatest, the greatest in the world. she sends care packages like no one else and is an all around wonderful girl! i think i'm still slightly stoned. yay my brother for getting me kickass pot that's still potent after fucking 2 months. woooooooooOOooOooOOOoooooo. so now, i will go attempt to work out. but i dont' think i'll be very successful. but it's halloween, baby, and i feel the need to earn the fun i'm going to be having tonight.

last night, my roommate and i had a dicussion in which she basically said i was an immature child in regard to the chris situation and gr. i mean, it's true, but the fantasy is always better than the reality and i have friends at home who understand this to no end and urggg, it was jsut bugging me. so now i feel like i can't talk to her about anything because she'll just think it's another petty morganism. where are my fellow overanalyzers?

and might i recommend mini gobstoppers to any fellow gobstopper fanatics? you can pop 5 in your mouth at one time and get 5 times the pleasure without killing your mouth. woooooo.

so yeah, i got high on the beach by myself and it was beeeeeeeyond glorious. i was seirously sitting in there just rubbing my hands in the sand for an hour, like, ooooo!

ok, thinking about the roommate situation is pissing me off. i think it affected me more than i thought it would. i mean, i am emotionally immature when it comes to boys and relationships and stuff -- i'm the first to admit that -- but when i said that, fine, i'll just repress it like i repress everything else she didnt' say anything to keep me from doing that. that's why i hate it here. at least in redding, i had friends to be silly with. i KNOW i'm being silly, dammit! deal wiht it! let me have my little moments of happiness! urgg!

Banana9701 (7:43:13 PM): what did you want to happen in college?

Kute Koala (7:44:56 PM): i wanted to be in an environment like that of madeira in which everyone's basically friends and everyone can hang out with everyone and isntead our hall is really cliquey. i wanted to feel comfortable to be myself in front of everyone and not just my close friends and i don't even have my close friends here...i have to put on a facade if i want to have any friends at all because they think i'm extraordinarily weird when i do let most of me out

i can't be myself here, which is making me reevaluate who that is. i had it good for a while. at madeira, i knew who i was and i was comfortable with it and people loved loved loved me for it. public school kind of fucked me up, but community college got me back on the road to me. i thought college would be cement myself and i would be in an environment in which i'm comfortable with myself and people enjoy who that person is, and i'm just not. stupid fucking facades. urg, working out now!

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About me
Hi. Morgan, 27, of Santa Barbara, CA. I am a hypocritical admirer of rhetoric (when it is my own) and an observer of literary trends. A secret: I don't take anything very seriously, and that includes myself.