an intelligent ditz (back me up on this one)
01 October 2001 at 4:59 pm

It's October!

So I'm really glad I'm friends with Sarah and Christine and Anne and all, but sometimes, I just need more male attention.

My eyes are blurry. I think I need glasses. And my computer fucking freaked out today. i closed it without turning it off last night and when i opened it this morning, the screen was blank so i turned it off and on and a blue screen popped up with some numbers and "kmode not accepted" or something liek that and then "dumping physical memory complete." that didn't sound good, so i started to call dell tech support but that was taking too long so i turned it off and on again and here i am. i think it's just messing with me.

just finished bridget jones for the 10th time and started the 2nd one again. oooohhhh, how i long to live in london and have a tom and drink and smoke (tried my first cigarette at iv last weekend...did not see what the big deal was) and meet a mark and life would be Oh So Wonderful.

i would settle for some boy hitting on me in a drunken slur here in santa barbara.

i wish i was one of those people who could be happy wherever and just make the best of the situation. but i'm not, and i've come to terms with that. but that doesn't mean life sucks any less. like that girl said in her graduation speech: life has become something we survive, not something we live. but i've gotten so numb to the idea of surviving that the concept of living life doesn't register. hmm.

i think i have pretty good self-esteem. i'm ok with myself, i just get anxious about how others see me every once in a while. there's a difference.

i need a nap.

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About me
Hi. Morgan, 27, of Santa Barbara, CA. I am a hypocritical admirer of rhetoric (when it is my own) and an observer of literary trends. A secret: I don't take anything very seriously, and that includes myself.