Daisies really are the friendliest flowers. I prefer tulips.
2001-06-16 at 9:55 p.m.

My horoscope:

"CAPRICORN

If you only have one pair of scissors, you use it for everything. At least that's what we do. We use it for paper, trimming our herb garden, and prying nails out of the wall. The only thing we haven't used it for is to cut up a roast chicken, but don't tempt us. Actually, if we ever made roast chicken, we do that too.

So what on earth does this have to do with you? Well Cappy baby, we'll tell you. You only have one pair o' scissors, but in your case the scissors is actually a friend. You have one close bosom buddy. Unfortunately when you spend too much time with this person it's like suddenly your bosom buddy has pierced your nipple and it's gotten infected. Well anyway that's a bad analogy or perhaps not an analogy at all but you get the point, right? No? Point is you need to branch out and find others your private selves can relate to. You need to get something off your chest and that something is your clingy friend. "

Wow. I'm in awe of Comedy Central karmacentral horoscopes.

My mommy made dinner for the first time in ages tonight: chicken fried steak. It was delicious - the first time in months my mom, brother, and I have been in the same room eating and talking and not arguing for a long time. I kind of like having few good memories. That way, I don't stress about not remembering everything. I can keep track of all the good things. It's true -- if I don't expect much, I am rarely disappointed and am extremely pleased when things go well. Am I missing out? Sure.

I spent middle school being overly ambitious and self-conscious. I spent (how I love referring to this is the past tense) high school totally indifferent and either pretending to or simply not caring about anyone else, except for the select few who are My Friends. I plan on spending college doing things I thought I never would, making mistakes I will laugh about later, taking incredibly, life-altering risks, and becoming the person I will be for the rest of my life. I absolutely cannot wait. I'm looking forward to dealing with freaky roommates, random boys, difficult classes, all-nighters...yes, all the awful aspects of college are better than the mundane, aimless life I'm leading now. Why don't I just change? While I pride myself on disliking ceremony, I can only truly change in extreme measures. Case in point: moving from a private religious school to public school in 6th grade, from public school to boarding school across the country in 9th grade, and now from bumfuck smalltown high school to huge public college in Santa Barbara. I love change, I really do. I'm going to be one of those people who holds a job for a few years, then changes everything. Like Jane in "The Girl's Guide To Hunting and Fishing." I think I'd make a wonderful editor for books. I'd be reading and criticizing all day ... which is what I do anyway! Perfect! New goal in life, wonderful.

I was watching a Daily Show interview with some guy from Kiss and he was getting all pissy about divorce settlements. He said something to the effect of women who come into marriages with rich men and they get divorced and get half the assets and how that's called something else where he's from. In other words, prostitution. Fuck him. That shows how much he respects women. The company of the woman in his life has been only trivial and not worthy of his millions. These women haven't affected his career at all, haven't supported him, haven't been an ample wife. They were only prostitutes. I'm not really making much sense here, but do you see where I'm coming from? I mean, I kind of see what he's getting at, how they didn't really earn the money, but in my opinion, putting up with him is work enough.

"Mr Candy Bar doesn't judge you. Mr Candy Bar loves you just the way you are." -- South Park.

I'm loving this jawbreaker.

Why is it that all television networks go to commercial at the same time?

I'm having the best conversation with Namita right now. I think the people I will for sure always keep in touch with are Cary, Namita, Lindsey, and Joanna.

"The hotdog is singing! You need quiet when the hotdog is singing?!" - You've Got Mail

"In a week it will be something really depressing. Like a Baby Gap." -- You've Got Mail

I like Baby Gap.

The ending to You've Got Mail gets me all goosebumped and mistyeyed every single fucking time.

Except why is it that all women in Hollywood are dropdead gorgeous and talented and when they reach that age they're out of a job, but men can be overweight and acnefied and still get great parts no matter how old and gross they are? Grr.

My conversation with Namita:

Kute Koala [9:37 PM]: Hey bebe

Nrmurthy01 [9:38 PM]: hiya

Nrmurthy01 [9:38 PM]: what's happening hot stuff?

Kute Koala[9:38 PM]: just watching you've got mail with my mum

Kute Koala[9:38 PM]: how are you?

Nrmurthy01 [9:39 PM]: good good.....munching on the doggy bag

Kute Koala[9:39 PM]: i haven't heard that in forever. from where?

Nrmurthy01 [9:39 PM]: Tara Thai

Kute Koala [9:40 PM]: hmm, interesting. myself, i'm sucking on a giant jawbreaker purchased at the county fair

Nrmurthy01[9:41 PM]: sounds wonderful. NOw I'm munching on chocolate

Kute Koala[9:41 PM]: ooo, i'm jealous

Kute Koala[9:41 PM]: i've been eating nonstop so i'm trying to eat things that take a long time to consume

nrmurthy01[9:41 PM]: yes, well...I'm sure your thighs are not jealous

Kute Koala[9:42 PM]: actually, i'm 126 lbs now and i feel voluptuous...spelling...etc....

Kute Koala[9:42 PM]: i think i need a pacificer to keep my mouth busy

Nrmurthy01[9:42 PM]: really?...Me too. I think I eat when I'm bored

Kute Koala[9:42 PM]: same

Kute Koala[9:42 PM]: and i'm bored all day

Kute Koala[9:43 PM]: i cant' wait to start working

Nrmurthy01[9:43 PM]: Noah thinks that it's a horrible habit that should be easy to kick, and he tells me all the time to kick it. but it's SOOO hard!

Kute Koala[9:43 PM]: it is!

Nrmurthy01[9:43 PM]: when do you start!

Kute Koala[9:43 PM]: i mean, what else are we supposed to do?

Kute Koala[9:43 PM]: i had orientation last thursday

Kute Koala[9:43 PM]: i get my schedule next wednesday

Kute Koala[9:44 PM]: but seriously, i'll try not to eat and then i just binge and binge

Kute Koala[9:44 PM]: and i can't bring myself to purge no matter how gross ifeel

Nrmurthy01[9:45 PM]: I always feel gratified after eating chocolate.

Nrmurthy01[9:46 PM]: something about the sweet

Kute Koala[9:46 PM]: i love eating choco-covered toffee

Kute Koala[9:46 PM]: i feel so cultured

Nrmurthy01[9:46 PM]: do you americans consume like 100 million lbs of chocolate a year?

Kute Koala[9:46 PM]: sure?

Nrmurthy01[9:47 PM]: prolly more

Kute Koala[9:47 PM]: milkshakes also make me feel wonderful

Kute Koala[9:47 PM]: not necessarily just plain ice cream, but milkshakes are so wonderful

Kute Koala[9:47 PM]: esp. oreo cookie milkshakes

Kute Koala[9:47 PM]: from applebees

Nrmurthy01[9:48 PM]: mmmmm.....................sounds GOOD!

Kute Koala[9:48 PM]: doesn't it?

Kute Koala[9:48 PM]: i wish you lived here

Kute Koala[9:48 PM]: we'd have so much fun eating all day and all night

Nrmurthy01[9:48 PM]: I could go for ice cream right about now. Yeah, we'd also weigh a million lbs, no joke

Kute Koala[9:48 PM]: all of my friends are like, um, i'll sit with you but i won't order anything. it's no fun pigging out if no one's pigging out with you

Kute Koala[9:48 PM]: once i hit 130 i'll start jogging like a maniac

Nrmurthy01[9:48 PM]: yeah, I definitely don't have any pig out friends

Nrmurthy01[9:49 PM]: ahh...I see. Wait till you gain it to actually start to lose it

Kute Koala[9:49 PM]: my 2 best friends are like, god dammit, i'm 96 pounds today!

Nrmurthy01[9:49 PM]: ok...they should be shot

Nrmurthy01[9:49 PM]: 96! How fucking tall are they?

Kute Koala[9:49 PM]: 5'1 and 5'4'. one's filipino, one's chinese

Nrmurthy01[9:50 PM]: 5'4!!!!

Kute Koala[9:50 PM]: starting august 17, i'm going to work out as much as possible because i'm giving myself a month to be in perfect shape for college

Nrmurthy01[9:50 PM]: That's not healthy!

Kute Koala[9:50 PM]: i know

Kute Koala[9:50 PM]: well, i think she's 105 or something insane like that

Nrmurthy01[9:50 PM]: still!

Kute Koala[9:50 PM]: i'm perfectly happy with anything under 120

Nrmurthy01[9:50 PM]: yeah, I wish. I'm continually 122 and it's really annoying

Kute Koala[9:50 PM]: did i tell you about the time i got down to 115?

Nrmurthy01[9:51 PM]: yeah, I remember. You were sick too

Kute Koala[9:51 PM]: and my mom was like, see how cute your clothes fit you? and i said, yes, its' because i've been sick for 3 days and didn't eat. then i drank too much and threw up for 2 days.

Kute Koala[9:51 PM]: tada, the only way to be skinny is anorexia and bulimia

Nrmurthy01[9:51 PM]: yep yep..too bad I love food and can't bear the thought of throwing it up...well, there goes that plan

Kute Koala[9:51 PM]: seriously. i love to eat. i LOVE to eat.

Kute Koala[9:52 PM]: i'm happy when i eat. and as long as i do something active every couple of days, i'm fine with it.

Nrmurthy01[9:53 PM]: I'm pretty sure i have an eye infection. I'm going to look up what I have online

Kute Koala[9:53 PM]: what does it feel like?

Nrmurthy01[9:54 PM]: inflamed and itchy

Kute Koala[9:54 PM]: oh my god, my horoscope is so on

Kute Koala[9:54 PM]: ewww

Nrmurthy01[9:55 PM]: thanks thanks...yes, it's MY eye!

Kute Koala[9:55 PM]: hehe

Kute Koala[9:55 PM]: did you try eye drops?

Kute Koala[9:55 PM]: are your contacts still in?

Nrmurthy01[9:57 PM]: yeah....apparently it's caused by a blocked oil gland. Ok, so it's not an infection

Kute Koala[9:57 PM]: a blocked oil gland. exfoliate your eye?

Nrmurthy01[9:58 PM]: heheehe...no no...I'm supposed to put a hot compressenr

Kute Koala[9:58 PM]: ooh

Nrmurthy01[9:59 PM]: I get them kinda often. Well, more than most people I know. I think it;s a combination of eye makeup and contact wearing

Kute Koala[9:59 PM]: you shoudl restrict the eye makeup. you dont' need it.

Nrmurthy01[10:00 PM]: Mascara I need.

Nrmurthy01[10:00 PM]: My eyes are like this big without mascara

Kute Koala[10:00 PM]: hehe. mine too.

Kute Koala[10:00 PM]: or maybe you need to clean your contacts more?

Nrmurthy01[10:01 PM]: yeah...I never clean them

Kute Koala[10:01 PM]: hmmmmm

Nrmurthy01[10:01 PM]: I told Noah about Adam's e-mail

Kute Koala[10:01 PM]: and?

Nrmurthy01[10:01 PM]: he didn't really care. He said it was really sweet the things Adam was saying, but he didn't really feel threatened or anything. He didn't think it was cheating

Kute Koala[10:02 PM]: did you tell him what happened before?

Kute Koala[10:02 PM]: and how you feel the need to expand yoru horizons?

Nrmurthy01[10:02 PM]: nothing happened before

Nrmurthy01[10:02 PM]: um....about that. I saw him and everything went out the window

Kute Koala[10:02 PM]: you threw up and pecked him. that's something.

Kute Koala[10:02 PM]: ah.

Nrmurthy01[10:02 PM]: I told him that I threw up and that Adam took care of me all night. He can assume what he wants from that

Kute Koala[10:02 PM]: i could never be in a monogomous relationship. i have to have an out clause wihtout hurting the other person.

Kute Koala[10:03 PM]: hmmm

Nrmurthy01[10:03 PM]: yeah, yeah.....you need COMMITMENT@

Kute Koala[10:03 PM]: nah, i really don't

Nrmurthy01[10:05 PM]: I think when you find the right guy staying committed won't be sure a problem

Kute Koala[10:05 PM]: yeah, but i'm not settling for anything but that right guy

Kute Koala[10:05 PM]: i had a dream about him last night

Kute Koala[10:05 PM]: his name was simon and it was Perfect

Nrmurthy01[10:07 PM]: Simon, eh? Sounds dorky,,,hehe

Kute Koala[10:07 PM]: noooo, i love the name simon

Kute Koala[10:07 PM]: and he is a bit of a dork

Kute Koala[10:07 PM]: but he's really intelligent. he's a loner, like me.

Nrmurthy01[10:08 PM]: wait...did you make him up? Is this like imaginary friend, Simon?

Kute Koala[10:08 PM]: he was in my dream last night

Kute Koala[10:08 PM]: lol

Kute Koala[10:08 PM]: yes, my imaginary friend. ahh, you're sitting on him!

Nrmurthy01[10:08 PM]: hehe

Kute Koala[10:08 PM]: and he holds my hand and is romantic and protective and wonderful.

Nrmurthy01[10:08 PM]: Cesi used to joke in Spanish class about her imaginary friend, Bob

Kute Koala[10:09 PM]: i could never tell if i liked cesi or if she was just annoying

Kute Koala[10:09 PM]: jj and i had an imaginary friend named bob

Kute Koala[10:10 PM]: actually, we each had our own bob and we would say, "bob misses bob." my god we were immature.

Nrmurthy01[10:10 PM]: I think she matured, I like her now. I"m so proud of myself. I can read a watch with no numbers. Just the hands....sometimes it can be a little confusing, like when it's between the 7 and 8 and 1 and 2

Kute Koala[10:10 PM]: i've never been able to do that.

Kute Koala[10:10 PM]: i get so confused

Kute Koala[10:10 PM]: i can barely tell time with numbers

Nrmurthy01[10:11 PM]: hehe....I can usually tell time. I just get flustered when people ASK me for the time. Then I lose all time-telling skills. It must be the pressure

Kute Koala[10:12 PM]: yeah, no kidding. I always do that. I"ll say 5:30 and they'll bel ike, no, that's not right, it was 6 when i last checked. and then i look again and it's 6:30. it's so hard!

Kute Koala[10:12 PM]: i remember learing how to tell time in 1st grade with mrs springfield and i was always so confused

Kute Koala[10:12 PM]: i never really liked her

Nrmurthy01[10:13 PM]: I can just see that. lol. "MORGAN! This is a very important exercise. The seconds hand goes on the 6 when it's 12:30 not on the 9"

Nrmurthy01[10:14 PM]: brb

Kute Koala[10:14 PM]: k

Kute Koala[10:14 PM]: actually, she had this play clock and she woudl turn the hands to numbers and ask people what time it was and she never ever called on me

Kute Koala[10:14 PM]: so i never paid attention

Kute Koala[10:14 PM]: and ahve suffered ever since.

Nrmurthy01[10:26 PM]: hehe.....well, sucks for you. SHould get a digital and solve your problems

Kute Koala[10:26 PM]: yeah yeah. or i'll just ask cute boys who are wearing expensive watches

Nrmurthy01[10:28 PM]: sounds like a plan

Kute Koala[10:28 PM]: stan

Kute Koala[10:28 PM]: i'm writing a really wonderful diary entry right now

Nrmurthy01[10:30 PM]: that's wonderful

Kute Koala[10:30 PM]: didn't i just say that?

Nrmurthy01[10:31 PM]: you said......nevermind

Nrmurthy01[10:31 PM]: I have to go

Kute Koala[10:31 PM]: good night

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About me
Hi. Morgan, 27, of Santa Barbara, CA. I am a hypocritical admirer of rhetoric (when it is my own) and an observer of literary trends. A secret: I don't take anything very seriously, and that includes myself.