So, today Joanna told me that instead of cutting myself I should put a rubberband around my wrist and snap it when I feel upset.
Is this a bad idea to anyone else? My problem is that I cut my wrists for the pain to relieve emotional pain. By focusing that emotionalness on a different form of pain, it seems like that would be equal to the badness of cutting...right? So that was a bad idea. And I'm not sure if I appreciate her effort to empathetically understand, but it seems like common sense ... to me ...
Another thing I'm pissed off about is that Esp and Joanna didn't even bother to tell me they weren't going to the lake when we had made plans, like, two weeks ago to go on this exact day. Yes, while I had commented that I didnt' want to go, that was the day before in a fit of self-consciousness. Note to all friends: this diary is a stream of consciousness, and does not replace my actual, real-life comments. And if you're GOING TO CANCEL PLANS, FUCKING TELL ME BEFORE I WAIT AROUND FOR YOUR PHONE CALL ALL FUCKING DAY!
ahem.
But Katie and I had a wonderful chat at B&N and decided that Nate would be a good friend with benefits and that everyone needs a boy to hold them and Jane Magazine is beyond wonderful.